Study Finds Being A Tremendous Butthole Is An Ineffective Persuasive Technique

Study finds that, among many effective methods used to garner support and change minds, being a pompous douchecanoe did not even make the list.

Before the results were posted, most people probably thought these two gentlemen ended the day by completely and politely agreeing with each other.

AP – A list of the top 10 types of persuasive arguments was recently compiled as a result of an ongoing government-funded study into many of the world’s most popular social networks. The study, which lasted six months and actively took feedback from over 10,000 participants, was designed to document the most effective methods commonly used to persuade other people and get them to see other points of view.

But one of the most startling revelations revealed from this experiment was that being a complete and total turdwaffle did not even make the list. While this news did not shock the vast majority of participants, social network users around the world were stunned.

Lindsay Anna Young, a self-described internet argumentationalist, described her reaction. “This really explains a lot. I wondered why what I was doing wasn’t working. Someone said something I didn’t like and I tried to correct him by telling him to go f— himself with barbed wire. He got upset about it instead of instantly agreeing with me. So I got madder and tried stabbing him. I thought for sure that would get him to see my side of things, but all he did was call the cops.”

“People are way too sensitive these days,” she added irritably. Continue reading

I Leveled Up When I Wrote This Post

Because for some stupid reason you aren't allowed to stay in the starting area.

Because for some stupid reason you aren’t allowed to stay in the starting area.

I’ve always been told that life isn’t a game and that I need to treat it seriously. I was also told that I would not get new gear or gold for doing chores, and if you’re wondering why that’s oddly specific, it’s only because I asked first. But it doesn’t really matter because everyone who told me those things was wrong.

I’ve been trying to figure out different ways to motivate myself and get stuff done, with little success. Sometimes I have so much to do that my brain decides that the best way to handle it is to shut down and do absolutely nothing. It’s a frustrating endless cycle. Continue reading

Requirements for Productivity

This isn't my desk, but I kind of wish it was. Pulled from this article, which incidentally is pretty interesting itself.

This isn’t my desk, but I kind of wish it was. Pulled from this article, which incidentally is pretty interesting itself.

I can be a pretty productive person. I have to be—I work two jobs, both from home, NaNoWriMo is coming up and other such things. However, there are requirements. They are rather specific, and some might also call them odd. If things aren’t exactly right, I don’t really get much done.

I think we can all be that way to some degree, though. We all need things to be a certain way in order for us to focus. Otherwise your mind can wander, or whatever you have left to do will nag at you until you get up and fix it. I’m going to share mine, then you can share yours if you so desire! Continue reading

Stop The Elitism

"Look at your hat. Your brain cells are floating right out of it! Meanwhile I require this large hat to comfortably house my far superior cranium."

“Look at your hat. Your brain cells are floating right out of it! Meanwhile I require this large hat to comfortably house my far superior cranium.”

You might not be the most well-read person in the world. You might not have seen every TV show known to man. You might have missed out on some popular movies over the years. But darnit if there’s one thing you know, it’s that you—and you alone—have the best tastes in the world. Every bit of media you choose to indulge in is superior to what other people read and watch.

Or you’re another type of person completely. You may not watch or read or listen to anything at all, and this is what makes you such an intellectual. Modern media is for the weak of mind, you think. Let the brainwashed public consume and consume, for that is all they are trained to do! Those silly plebeians are throwing away their freedoms by engaging in activities you haven’t personally approved of. Continue reading

Welcome to the Best Month Ever

The best candy ever for the best month ever.

The best candy ever for the best month ever. Photo by me. You can tell because who else has the time to decorate their desk with food just because.

And I say that without any bias whatsoever. At least I’d like to think that October is objectively the best month ever, perhaps backed up by science and statistics and all sorts of other official things.

October is when the leaves start turning, when the weather cools down and people start breaking out their fall and winter clothes. Some of my favorite styles come out during this time of year. October is when pumpkin-flavoured-everythings can be found just about everywhere. It’s when everything starts turning orange and black, when the nights become exciting.

It’s when scary movie marathons come on TV (all the classics!) and you can sit back in your warm house, reading books by candlelight and huddling up with friends. It’s where you walk down the street to see glowing vegetables with faces on them and skeletons and ghosts hanging from doors and trees. Finally, it’s when you get to dress up as oddly as you want and go bother complete strangers for edible goods, and where you’re looked at as weird if you don’t do that. Continue reading

Chronicles of Blanketfort [How to Kill Sadness]

Shortly after our fort's construction. Pictured inside is genius roommate unit, Kami.

Shortly after our fort’s construction. Pictured inside is genius roommate unit, Kami.

For the past week or so I had been feeling under the weather, and that’s putting it rather tamely. Depression, while often suppressed, will never truly be beaten, and it reared its ugly head last weekend, rendering me unable to eat, sleep or accomplish anything. By some cruel timing, I was also forced to deal with it alone for a number of days since everyone else had their schedules full.

But then came along my roommate who decided that I was no longer allowed to be sad, and she organized a day free of internet and all other adult responsible boring things. It started by making a blanket fort. Continue reading

Why Write “Strong Female Characters”?

The question almost implies that such a trait is an unusual abnormality, as opposed to simply human.

The question almost implies that such a trait is an unusual abnormality, as opposed to simply human.

By now a lot of you have probably heard about “strong female characters.” They’re the amazing women across all types of media, seeking out gender roles and smashing them to pieces. They can be found in books and movies and TV shows to the extent that they have a genre all their own. After all, when is the last time you heard of a strong male character, right? They’ve taken fiction by storm, showing that women too can be just as cool as men.

But is that really how it works? As a writer myself I can’t claim to speak for everyone, but I can say what I deeply believe to be true.

The character “category” of strong female character has been growing in popularity, and it has generally been met with positive feedback. But the reason they’re lauded is not because they are so populous — rather, it’s quite the opposite. It’s still a man’s world, and each gender has their assigned roles. The men do this, the women do that, and this often resulted in women being used as support characters or being used as a plot device of sorts. The knight in shining armor is typically a heroic man and the one needing rescuing is a woman. Continue reading