You Aren’t Perfect: Abandon the High Horse

Not many people know this, but the best way to mess with someone on their high horse is to steal their ladder. Take that, society.

Being an artist is tough. Whether you’re a painter, photographer, digital artist, author or whatever else, you’re under constant pressure to do your best. If you’re doing it right, you should always be improving, or at the very least discovering your weaknesses so you can work on getting better. Being an artist means never stagnating. Since art is so fluid, it’s rare that anyone will hit their “skill ceiling” and never be able to do anything different or better ever again.

One of the most important things you’ll ever learn as an artist is that you are not perfect. Some of us grow up hearing about how great we are, how we have so much talent and potential and oh my gosh we’re just so good. And hey, compliments are nice. But eventually you learn that those can be pretty nasty traps. Once you start believing that you can never get better, you find no reason to try to improve. After all, you’re already the best.

In Defense of the Villain’s Monologue

“I could kill you, but first let me tell you the things you’d only get to ponder for a few minutes anyway. What could go wrong?”

We know how it goes. The villain did everything right, catching our heroes by surprise, and it looks for certain like evil is going to win. The protagonists are trapped, trapped by the villain with no escape. The only possible way our heroes could possibly win is if there was some unforeseen issues in the villain’s plan, if there was some major setback.

And then it happens. The villain makes the worst mistake he possibly could: he sits down to explain everything. He gives them the why, who, when, where and how. In other words, the villain’s monologue.

This seems to happen all the time, so you’d think that supposed masterminds would be intelligent enough to realize they should avoid that at all costs. As great as the temptation may be, keep your mouth shut — one hundred percent of the times a villain decides to explain everything, he loses. Now you might say, “But Daniel, correlation and causation and blah de blah stuff,” and I say sure. But 100% is still a dangerous percentage to mess with.

BREAKING: People On Internet Not Forced To View Things They Don’t Want

A new study recently released shows that people on the internet do not actually have to read or watch things if they don’t want.

AP – A new study has recently been released by the CACS (Center for the Advancement of Common Sense) that disproves a longstanding theory that internet users are forced to view all content they come across whether they want to or not.

The theory went that if someone on the internet came across a video or article in their social media feeds or subscription boxes, they were obligated to watch it whether the content appealed to them or not. This resulted in many viewers angrily attempting to tell people what type of content to post on their own pages. It was not uncommon to come across comments patiently explaining how content providers should alter their own content to appease their viewers. Messages were often mixed, because, as another recent study shows, opinions may just be subjective.

It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Fear not. There’s always fanfiction! Actually that might have made it worse, sorry.

Most people who have visited my blog will have noticed that I have one of my books advertised over in yonder sidebar. This particular book is the first of three, and it is the series that I have fallen in love with the most. The world, the characters, everything. More than any other cast I’ve created, this is the one that I have experienced the most joy writing. Tears have been shed, laughter was had, and overall this world and everyone in it has given me an experience I don’t think I can ever recreate.

And now I’m coming to terms with the fact that very soon I will be saying goodbye to it forever.

An Open Letter To My Characters

Dear Lovely Characters of Mine,

It’s about time we had another chat. No, you aren’t in trouble, but it’s been a while. I have very little time to write, so I don’t get to spend as much time with you as I usually do. That saddens me as I’m sure it saddens you. Though you should know that I’m working hard to fix that. If I get some time off work, you’ll be the first people I hang out with (much to the chagrin of those in my life who actually exist, to be sure [also, no offense]).

Beth is quite a force to be reckoned with. She’s extremely short-tempered, though that may be due to constant exposure to David.

But there are so many of you. How will I spend time with all of you? Pretty much all of you deserve equal attention! You’re pretty fantastic. (Not to toot my own horn, but I’m quite proud of what the ol’ noggin came up with when it comes to you lot.) What to work on first?

To the cast of the Worlds series, I’ll get back to you eventually. I know, you starred in the first book I ever finished, and then I started other series. I wrote a second book, then a third, then a fourth, and all the while I only managed three chapters to your sequel. But I’ve been thinking about you all lately. And hey, David gets a cameo in every book I ever write, so that’s something. Free publicity! That’s good for you, right? Also, you might be getting new cover art. That’s also cool.

A Magical Writing Room

The other day I met a genie, though it was no incarnation of Robin Williams with almost infinite power. He apparently specialized in things revolving around the literary world, because my apparent wish was to create a perfect space for writing, instead of, I dunno, plenty of money or something. But I digress. To be fair to the genie, creating something like this requires a level of delicacy that would be made far easier with the aid of magic. I am a very picky person as well, so this all works out.

I’ve been to plenty of places and seen a number of awesome photographs. Over time I’ve pieced together what I want for a room where I can get plenty of writing done. I could get incredibly descriptive, but I’m going to list my main requirements.

I Don’t Understand Food Rules

See? See?! Why is this even necessary?!

For my mother’s birthday we went out to a place called BJ’s, where the portions are unnecessarily large and the food ridiculously good. As we stared down at the plethora of utensils that came in our napkins, the conversation inevitably turned to proper placement and use of the forks, knives and spoons. In this particular case we only had two forks and a knife, since any other necessary utensils came with the food, but I was reminded of the weird rules we humans have when it comes to table settings.

You have to use this fork for this, and that fork for that. You have three different spoons, they’re all used for different things, and even though they’re all just slightly different in size, they have very specific purposes. When you set the table, the utensils have to be placed in a certain order. Certain plates on top of other plates. Cut with one hand, eat with the other. Don’t use your fingers, it’s not polite.